Tuesday, February 7, 2012

29 Love Notes: Stop tripping and take a trip

29 Love Notes: Estelle - American Boy
Love Notes: Stop tripping and take a trip
Love is an adventure and sometimes it can be a real trip. Are you bored and in need of a break from the humdrum plain old ordinary day? Plan a getaway! It doesn’t have to be expensive or extravagant or use up all of your savings. Sometimes it is just fun to take a day trip somewhere close by. All that really matters is that you both get to spend some time together away from all the madness.
 The spirit of this song is so fun and carefree. Sometimes we treat relationships to much like a job and then we feel like we need a vacation away from our mate. Although spending some time apart is a great thing, your relationship should never feel like a literal ball and chain. Even though you are in love don’t forget to have fun and keep things light hearted. Don’t trip on the small stuff and of course choose your battles. Just have fun!  






29 Love Notes: Ultimatums...Nobody likes them


Song: O-Town - All or Nothing

Love Note: Ultimatums...Nobody likes them 

Cuz I want it all, Or nothing at all There's nowhere left to fall, When you reach the bottom it's now or never.



As comical as this video is the song is pretty serious. It’s about a dude who loves a girl who is in love with another dude or her old boyfriend at that. Yeah..it sucks to be in a relationship with someone who isn’t completely committed to you. You know what else sucks, Ultimatums.  Ultimatums work sometimes and sometimes they leave you single. The only time you use an ultimatum is when you pretty much don’t care about what happens. Trying to test someone’s love for you is just a bad plan doomed to fail. Anyway you deserve the full attention and love of your partner and if you are not getting that then maybe you need to give them some space. Regardless, you will find out if you have patience and patience is a virtue.

 Side note: I forgot about O-Town.  Decent song and fun group. Enjoy!



Sunday, February 5, 2012

29 Love Notes: Super Wonderful not Superficial


Love Song: Beautiful Soul

Love Note: Super Wonderful not Superficial

I don't want another pretty face, I don't want just anyone to hold, I don't want my love to go to waste, I want you and your beautiful soul.
This song is so awesome! Have you ever seen a couple before and wondered how he or she got that super attractive person. It is such a superficial thought, but everyone I am sure has thought it before or even said it out loud. It is truly a blessing to find someone who can see pass outer appearance and loves you for your good character. Even “super models” want people who can love them for who they are and not what they look like. Everyone wants genuine love, a love that surpasses earthly matters and connects the soul. The soul mate is not attracted to your career, physical features, or status. They love you because of the super wonderful person you are on the inside. That is what being virtuous is all about, obtaining those characteristics that make you a well rounded individual who radiates a loving spirit.

In the song it says, “You're the one I wanna chase,You're the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste, I want you and your beautiful soul.”
 It is interesting how we meet people and sometimes it feels like they are too good to be true. Maybe you feel that way because you think you don’t deserve a love that great. If you love yourself and know how great you are you wouldn’t need to question why “Mr or Ms. Right” is madly in love with you. Don’t question it! Allow yourself this month to be loved completely.


Saturday, February 4, 2012

29 LOVE NOTES: A Secure Love

Love Song: All4ONE - I SWEAR
Love Note: A Secure Love
“I see the questions in your eyes, I know what's weighing on your mind, You can be sure I know my heart

I remember not really caring for this song when it came out. I was a lot younger than and didn’t really get what the song was talking about. I was too busy just being a drama geek to care about love and relationships. But I heard it on the radio the other day and really enjoyed the song and the lyrics. In a nut shell the song is just an affirmation of love. Sometimes in relationships things happen and fear slips in and you become insecure. You begin to question if your mate can withstand the storm and if they still care. Sometimes your mate is the one who feels insecure.
It is natural to get scared at times but never let it manifest into something that can end up destroying your relationship. The way you combat fear in a relationship is finding a secure love within yourself and knowing how great you are. Also make a vow to begin to speak positive words to yourself and to your mate. Make a bold declaration to love yourself and your mate no matter what.  Words are so powerful and communication is the weapon to eliminating insecurity.


Friday, February 3, 2012

29 Love Notes: Brian McKnight - Back At One


Love Song: Brian McKnight - Back At One
Love Note:  Work it!
"If ever I believe my work is done... then I start Back at One (yeah)"

Every time you ask married people about marriage they always tell you that it is hard work. I am sure that being in any type of long-term relationship is challenging. It is easy to forget all the hard work you put in to catch that guy or girl after so many years pass by. Being married doesn’t give you the green light to stop doing the things that made you attractive to your mate.
You are supposed to become one in marriage, but not so much that you lose your identity. I was talking to someone today about how it is a choice to let yourself go when you get married and have kids. It is a choice to have a beer belly and to stop taking care of you. It’s a choice to morph into this sexless figure that neither you or your husband can recognize. It is even a choice to stop having date night and telling that person how much they mean to you.
What I like about Brian McKnight’s song, Back at One, is that he acknowledges the work that has to take place to show your mate that you are dedicated to a life of love and romance. Whether it is a card, surprise lunch date, a romantic walk in the park, flowers, or an unexpected slow dance in the kitchen, do something every day to show your love that you are still the ONE they fell in love with.    



Thursday, February 2, 2012

Love Notes: I'm Ready ~Tevin Campbell


Love Song -Tevin Campbell – I’m Ready 
Songwriters: DUCEY, CHRIS/MILLIS, ED
Love NoteReady for Love 
This is one of my favorite Tevin Campbell songs! The song opens with the lyrics, “Baby, it was uncool to love me and then leave me standing here now without a goodbye”. This opening line shows that the love interest wasn’t ready for love and when a person isn’t ready for love it is evident. When a person is not ready to receive or give love then hearts are broken and opportunities to be in a healthy relationship are missed.

What I like about the song is the message of patience. There is no better healer than time, but you have to be willing to make the sacrifice of waiting for your heart to heal or waiting on another person to heal. Regardless, time is a true test of whether your love is a true love, because true love is endless. Instead of jumping into another relationship (rebounding) or staying in a relationship with a person that isn’t ready to receive you, try patience. Give yourself the time  this month to prepare for love. Self reflect, read positive literature, write your own love song, fellowship with others in healthy relationships, and learn what makes you happy so that when true love calls you can say, I’m ready!



Wednesday, February 1, 2012

LOVE NOTES: 29 Songs and Letters of Love

In celebration of the month of love, February, I am posting a love song every day.  2012 is a leap year which means February will have 29 days. I’m calling this series of blogs Love Notes: 29 Songs and  Letters of Love. Every day you will get a love song and a message of love. And if you are lucky I may share one of my original love songs with you.  I hope everyone enjoys the selection of songs and shares the message of love with someone special.
My first favorite love song is Michael Jackson’s I’ll be There. It’s a beautiful promise to a good friend that no matter what happens they can always count on you. Unconditional love has no time limit and when you truly care about a person, the love you have for them surpasses all earthly matters. Sometimes it is good to reach out to a friend and remind them of your commitment to being supportive in a time of need. We all go through trials and tribulations and it is good to know that your friends have your back. Take the time to tell someone this month that you are there for them.


By: Chi Ife

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Rise and Shine with a little revelation!

I was running early this morning and as the sun was coming up I felt this amazing feeling and had a revelation instantly.  The voice said that true love feels just like this moment. It is fearless, beautiful, breathless, amazing, free flowing, awesome, simple, uplifting, captivating, and spiritual.  I was really overwhelmed by the beauty of the sun rising and I was connected to its energy. That is how real love feels. It is a natural and spiritual connection with another person that transcends anything superficial and earthly. Sometimes people come along and they try to impress you with worldly things and lies about what they think love is, but that stuff is all meaningless (see Ecclesiastics). Real love must be a  spiritual connection because it takes that type of connection to love someone unconditionally and also to forgive them throughout the journey.  Real love is something worth waiting for. And if you find it in your significant other, then marry him or her.

Also, you may think that the little things you do for others everyday does not make a difference but it does. Blessing sometimes come in small packages. Smiling, listening, sharing, holding, hugging,  caring, loving, honoring, and supporting, are all blessings that we can give to the people around us for free. You don't need fame or money to change lives or to help people because you can do it everyday with your actions.

If we all were dedicated to making just the smallest difference in each others lives then we would all see the big picture which is one of love.

~ Chi the Love Bug:)

Friday, September 9, 2011

Guest Post: Single and Satisfied?

Is there a such thing as being single and satisfied? What if one desires to be in a relationship but the future appears bleak? Does that mean they are meant to be single for the rest of their life? God did make Eve for Adam.... why isn’t there anyone for me? All of the previous questions are valid and I am sure they have run through every single man or woman’s head at one point in time. Whether you are single now or have been single before, each of us have considered at least 1 of the 4 inquires.

With any relationship, whether it be a friendship, marriage, or parenting, satisfaction is developed. Satisfaction is simply the state of gratification, the contentment felt after the right action is taken.  We can all get to our desired level of satisfaction as single people. We have to learn how to be content, single with God, before he can bring another person into our lives. If we want to truly be happy and satisfied in our relationships, we must first learn ourselves and develop satisfaction as single individuals. God has every intention of bringing us our mates as long as we have that desire.

Genesis 2:18 states: “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”  When you are not in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex, or “single”, that does not mean you are alone. God is always with you. In fact, God wants to use this time with you developing a single heart with him.  As earthly vessels God’s intentions are to give us the desires of our hearts however, our hearts must be ready. The objective as a single person is to develop “singleness in heart” with God. The missing void in your life should be filled with God and his word. Allow him to work on you and prepare your heart for a relationship. Yes I know this is easier said than done, however, how can you expect to get a diploma without completing the necessary high school courses? One cannot expect to be in a meaningful and fruitful relationship without knowing themselves. This requires development as a single person. Before you take delight in a mate, take delight in The Lord and allow his word to satisfy you. The Lord's will is everything you want, more than you expect, and far beyond your imagination!  Psalm 37:4 Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

Single and Satisfied,

~Lady B

Monday, August 22, 2011

Not your Judas: I can play any role but that one.

Not your Judas - I can play any role but that.

Judas Iscariot is known as the infamous backstabber in the bible. Sometimes we question if he had a choice in playing the person who betrays Jesus. I mean somebody had to do it in order for the prophecy to be fulfilled, but I wonder if it had to be Judas. What I am saying is that yes God has written our stories and certain things are supposed to happen, but do we have the free will in playing certain roles. What if Judas didn’t succumb to his feelings of jealousy and fear and opted out. What if Judas said no and then Cleofus (made up name) the other deviant disciple became the one who betrayed Jesus. The story would still have the same outcome but different characters. Let’s look at the situations below.



Situation 1: So you meet a guy at work that you think is handsome and the two of you share a moment. A deep deep moment. Ola la!! There is something so perfect about this guy; unfortunately for you he is perfectly married. You think to yourself, “God could this be my soul mate” and you begin to justify every reason in your mind why this guy and you were meant to be together. What is even crazier is that you are also unhappily married and looking for any reason to leave your current situation. Office guy isn’t helping because just like you, he is itching for an escape out of his reality and flirts with you. Shall we say weekend getaway perhaps? Conundrum!

Situation 2: You are a pop artist who just signed a record deal with a major label and your dreams are finally happening. You soon find out that the label is changing your image to a raunchier one. If you don't do it, the other chick they just signed will. Knowing that if you get this new fake butt to up your sales you may damage the self esteem of millions of little girls who are unhappy with their self image. You say, "Let their parents talk to them about loving themselves. I aint a role model", as you begin to count all the money you will make from your new stripper booty and sexually ambiguous lyrics. Drop it like its hot!
Situation 3: So the pastor put you in charge of the collection plate and times are hard. Pastor is flying in private jets and you have no ac in your vehicle. " Where is the blessing", you scream in your piping hot ride as you watch the head of your church jump into his pricy ice cold autoban. You know that there has to be others also stealing from the church and you think even the pastor is as well. Why not you…right?

All three examples are situations where you could be easily tempted and become a betrayer of someone. You can betray your spouse, the church, and even your own values. The fact is a cheating man is going to step out on his wife, but don't let that person be you. Record labels continue to pump out negative artists but you don't have to be one of them. Some church members are low down and breaking all the rules, but you don't have to follow suit. If you are presented with a test, then tell that situation, " I am not your Judus," and keep moving forward. Life is a stage and we are all merely players, but try your best not to play certain roles... you dig.      

Love ~ Chi
Check out this video - JC SUPERSTAR - HEAVEN ON THEIR MINDS - Brilliant!

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

The Perfect One


Meeting and accepting the person that's Mr. or Mrs. Right.  How difficult does it seem?  Yet, how difficult is it?  More often than not, we hear both males and females talk about all the great ideas they have regarding how “the perfect one” will look, talk, sound, act, and the grueling list goes on and on.  Many people promise that “THE LIST,” a sheet of paper containing tons of fantastic words describing the perfect mate, is a guaranteed way to focus on and get the person you want.  Yes the list may sound perfect but is there really a perfect mate?
“Just Wright” a movie starring Queen Latifah and Common, isn’t a film where people sit around to talk about meeting the right guy, rather it shows what happens when the right one shows up.  The movie is anchored by a beautiful women who desires to become married to a professional athlete for all the wrong reasons.  She has a list and is determined to check off every item she’s listed.  At first glance it’s hilarious but this women does everything she can to make sure she plays the game right so that Mr. Right, takes the bait and makes the catch.  On the opposite spectrum, the movie shows what happens when the right person just shows up.   No pre-made list, fantasy driven ideas, or stereotypical images, just the right person. 
More often than not, we’re consumed with pre-conceived ideas of what we want.  This conviction causes us to automatically shut down when someone comes around who doesn’t fit the perception of what we think we want.  We simply miss it and fail to give any attention to the idea that although they’re not a perfect match, that they could actually be the one.  Just think about it.  How often do you hear your friends say they want somebody!  And then once somebody attempts to come along, they are dismissed by your friend because they don’t make the cut.  The list comes out and they’re excused because of their body type, hair length, skin complexion, job, bank account, car, family, friends, diet, and the list just keeps going.  And at the end of the day once again your friend still hasn’t found anyone, and especially not "the one."
Now does “the list” have merit or value?  Absolutely!  We must know what we would like to have and set standards to things that are absolute deal breakers.  Yet, we can’t be so completely attached to a list that it gives us no room to look up and experience a whiff of fresh air when someone comes along that’s not an exact match.  The beauty in relationships, is sharing life with someone who allows you to be free enough to be who you are and willing to go through life with you during seasons of change.  At the end of the day it’s that person you want to embrace, not a list.
There's something different in the air today....enjoy it's freshness!
 ~Dee

Friday, July 29, 2011

Play like a kid!

 PLAY LIKE A KID!!!
 I read this Article called reclaiming your creativity written by William Grace Frost co-founder of Ekastasis and of the Butterfly Peace Path. I encourage you to Google him. The article presents several good suggestions on how to energize your creativity. The two suggestions that stood out to me were to fine tune your awareness and to do something new every day. Fine tuning your awareness is about being present in the moment that you are in. Staying present is hard to do if you have worked yourself into an everyday routine. I mean you can literally coast through your day on auto pilot. I read in another article that the best way to practice being in tune or present is to practice being completely aware of your surroundings for a minute every ten minutes. I also liked his suggestion to do something new every day. Again, this breaks up a hum drum life. Try a new flavor of ice cream, buy a stranger some lunch, go planking or owling. Do something you have never done every day and I am sure it will give you new experiences which will jump start your creativity.
 The suggestion that Frosts presents in his article that really caught my attention was to play like a kid. How many times do we drop everything we are doing and challenge the person next to us to a race. Sounds crazy right? What about playing a game of kickball, dodge ball, twister, hide and go seek, or even tag with a group of adult friends. Kids get real joy and laughter when they are playing. Adults need to play sometimes. I think as we get older we forget how to have real wholesome fun. 
 Fun is not always in the night club. It might be on a big open field with a water gun in hand. I think I’m going to try Mr. Frost suggestions which are being present, doing something new every day, and playing like a kid. I can’t wait to see what creative energy I am going to stir up. You try it to and comment.

Be Virtuous

~Chi

Friday, July 8, 2011

Join the Virtue~Us Book Club

 
ATTENTION, ATTENTION!!!!!  YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS!!!!! 

Join us as we embark on book#4:

The Compassionate Samurai: Being Extraordinary in an Ordinary World by Brian Klemmer 

Review date will be: August 28th

 Synopsis:  In life there are two types of people. The first are those who are nice, good-hearted, and compassionate but can’t make much happen. The other kind can make everything happen—they’re the creators, the go-getters, and the aggressive producers in society—however, they’re often self-centered, greedy, and unethical.Wouldn’t it be great if you could make things happen in a really big way but not lose your integrity? The Compassionate Samurai will show you the way to produce extraordinary results in a dog-eat-dog world and still maintain the highest levels of ethics.

 The Compassionate Sumarai (Amazon link for purchase)

 Let's gather to talk about doing what's required to live an extraordinary life.  Great food, great company, great book---We welcome men and women---Hope to see you there!!!!!


***Vision Board Party details coming soon.  
We will NOT host the vision board party at this event so...... STAY TUNED!!!!

Friday, June 24, 2011

Can a sistah breath? Why is the media and cinema so obsessed with the plight of the black female.

 
It seems like every time I turn around I read or hear something negative about African American women. First it was that terrible article in Psychology Today that some researcher wrote about black women being the most unattractive out of all women on earth. Then the documentary called Dark Girls about the troubles of dark skinned sisters in America. The preview shows a few dark skinned black women painfully sharing their stories about being a darker shade. The women are crying…it is hard to watch. Thanks to Tyler Perry and the creators of Precious I need to take a box of tissue to the movie theatre and prepare to cry from stories about black women who have been hurt, beaten, and abused. I mean I felt like all the women at the end of Tyler Perry’s For Colored Girls should have jumped off the roof it was so depressing. Then there is the growing Aids rate and STD in African American Women. When did being a black woman get to be so troubling.

Over the last few years we have had some big triumphs. The president is married to an intelligent black woman. Disney gave us not only a black princess but a dark skinned princess at that. Yes she was a frog for 75% of the movie and married a Brazilian prince instead of an African prince, but you have to start somewhere..right? Also Queen Oprah created her own network and gracefully retired. Things are looking up right?

At the top of this week on WVEE Jill Scott gave a wonderful interview in which she talked about several things, one being her ideal man. She positively listed all of her wants in a man. Then the tables turned when Frank Ski read a response from one of his listeners. The listener stated all the things he didn’t want in an ATL woman. One major factor he talked about was that ATL women need hobbies or at least a good personality. I think he made a valid point, but the manner he did it in felt like an attack yet again on Black women and our problems. The listener was tired of meeting women who were always on the phone and couldn’t carry a decent conversation. Some of the words he used were ghetto, back fat having, stinking, cell phone talking, no-personality having baby mamas. Some of things he said were funny, but at the same time I was angered because it was so negative. I am so over the media, movies, psychologist, radio personalities, and actors telling black women why we can’t get a man, aren’t married, or how we need to fix ourselves. I am also tired of the black woman being treated like a commodity in rap videos or in advertisements like the controversial picture used in this blog.  

Honestly I don’t want to cry anymore.I want to celebrate!  I think it is time to heal from the hateful acts that were committed to us in the past and start finding ways to focus on the positive things black women are doing. Now that we know all of our problems how can we start taking some ownership on issues, healing, and fixing our problems. `Lets celebrate!
  
~Chi

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Disappearing Act

So thirty days or less into your voyage of new found love, you find yourself staring at your phone, no call, no text no email.  You are baffled beyond belief because your new flame has suddenly gone awol and you can’t figure out why.  Everything appeared to be moving smoothly.  Great phone conversation, fun dates, strong chemistry…so what changed?  You find yourself getting worried at first.  Then annoyed.  Then livid because you are beginning to feel like you played yourself again by opening your heart to another jerk who just walked all over it. So what to do?  Back track.  Three critical factors can determine if you are simply over reacting or if you need to move on Expectations, Self examination, Exhibited behavior.  
Let’s begin with expectations.  Typically the rule of thumb is, if you’re not married, anything goes.  Meaning, when you are dating, everyone is fair game and unless communication has transpired to indicate otherwise this is a rule that you must always remember.  The key point in dating is to provide yourself with a plethora of prospects that you can assess to identify a good mate.  This can’t be achieved if you only date one person.  So when dating always remember the purpose of dating, keep an open mind and remember your prospect may also be seeking his treasure in the midst of a sea of gems. 
Self- examination is the next step.  How you conduct yourself in the beginning of the relationship will determine how your prospect perceives you and ultimately treat you.  Did you come off as desperate or insecure?  Did you put on a representative that did not represent your true self?  Did you present yourself as a video vixen or as a Queen?   Did you truly come off as someone who is trying to build a good friendship or did you come off as psycho/stalker girl? 
In the process of it all how did he behave?  Did he exhibit qualities of someone who is respectful? Or did he call you last minute to see you, have no idea where to take you b/c you were the afterthought (aka back up plan) so you two spend the last minute trying to find something to do that doesn’t cost much of anything.  Did he sincerely seem interested in you as a person or did he only seem interested in the things you could do for him?  If he did come off as a first class jerk, did you put up with it?  Often a guy will test you to see how much you value yourself and if you act as if you don’t they will not take you seriously as prospective future material.  Finally through it all did you remember to keep God’s standard as your standard?  Remember, if God is the King and we are his children we are of royal lineage and our conduct should reflect such.  Often we get so caught up in trying to please people we forget about pleasing God and in the process we totally lose ourselves and end up disappointed with the return from our investment.  But when we keep our vertical relationship in harmony with God the reality is it allows us to have a solid horizontal relationship with others that yield a return that is substantial and rewarding.  So instead of sitting by the phone and giving yourself a headache, realize that God has extraordinary things in store for you and if this person is for you it will work out without any compromising techniques and if they are not, God has better waiting so there is absolutely no need to lose any sleep over the situation at hand.  


Sunni Williams is a connoisseur of culture, life adventures and positivity.  She holds a BS in Broadcast Journalism and an MBA in Business Management. She has received national recognition for leadership and is currently working on a novel.


Saturday, June 4, 2011

Princess Drama: Everything prior true loves kiss

Princess Drama: Everything prior true loves kiss

It’s kind of hard out here for a Princess! If anyone would know, it would be me. I mean you have evil queens and witches trying to bring you down or cast a spell on you. It is always a challenge trying to stay absolutely lovely while cleaning up and taking care of dwarfs. And how is a girl supposed to eat her fruits and vegetables when a wicked witch is poisoning apples. Also, how is Prince Charming supposed to find you when you are locked away in a tower or hidden in a forest singing songs to woodland creatures. 

Seriously, I was thinking about the life of a fairytale princess and somehow found it to be very similar to my real life. I am sure a lot of women (maybe a few dudes) can say the same.
 Most people see the Prince as a major character in the fairytale, but really he is just a supporting role. The story always revolves around a young maiden who is of royal status and doesn’t really know her worth. The people around her know how truly special she is and want to help her, but can’t because of her tragic circumstance. There is an authoritative figure that is jealous of her beauty, status, or power and tries to keep the princess from discovering her greatness by any means necessary. Yes, the prince or her "opportunity" to leave her present situation is waiting to present himself, but first she has to overcome her obstacles in life. Once she realizes her worth, her dreams can come true and I am sure she graduates from being princes to being a queen.

What trials are you facing that you need to destroy in order to meet your prince aka opportunity? Maybe you are being groomed for greatness and once you beat that evil queen or bad situation, then you can walk into your destiny with infinite possibilities. 

Yes, one day your Prince will come, but until then work on becoming a queen so when your opportunity knocks, you will be ready with your glass slipper in hand.

Love ya!

~ Chi