Get that drunken monkey off your back!

Last night I arrived at my apartment super late after a super long day of work. I immediately crashed on my futon sofa and tried to take a pre-nap before heading to my bedroom for the final slumber of the night. I was quickly awakened by the call of a friend who was partying a little too hard on a Wednesday night.  “Hey Ife, I’m a little tipsy but I’m okkkkkk,” the person proudly rattled off to me on the phone. Now I’m tired so nothing was funny to me about my friend’s situation. This person is 30, a professional, and has the admiration of hmmmm maybe a few. I kept wondering why I was so annoyed with this person for simply indulging themselves to the point of drunkenness. I mean they are obviously living the life!  I questioned maybe if I was a prude and maybe this person was experiencing “the joys of life” and me on my firm little futon wasn’t. Hmmmmmmm…..hmmmmmmmm.

 I don’t care for raunchy/crappy club music anymore. I’ve started to listen to gospel and jazz.  I once loved to drink myself to the point of being tipsy, but since I can’t control whether “tipsy Ife” is going to cry or pass out, I have decided to cut out the liquor.  I can drink one glass of wine, but that is it!!! Even over eating because maybe the meal is free or for other emotional reasons just doesn’t seem like the best thing to do anymore especially since I’m getting older and want to avoid medical ills. Again, have I gotten old? The answer is no. I am in the process of changing my lifestyle not because I’m trying to become Gandhi or some super human who is better than everyone else. I’m changing because I’m starting to see that certain behaviors just don’t make sense anymore or are dangerous.

When you are a child you believe that nothing can harm you. You do stuff like drink and drive with a car full of your best friends. You eat and drink recklessly because the body either bounces back easier or you just don’t see the harm in it. You curse folks out becasue it feels good. Life is meant to be enjoyed, but it isn’t meant to destroy you and learning how to curtail destructive behavior is a sign of wisdom.  One of my favorite scriptures is from 1 Corinthians 13:11 which states, “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.”

It is time for some of us to grow up! Stop eating unhealthy and overindulging in alcohol, weed, or other drugs.  Wake up! Live life! Walk with an attitude of gratitude and most importantly live in love!Get that drunken monkey off your back! 

And if I’m old then thank God for maturity.  I just drank a spinach smoothie and wrapped my foot before the morning run. Call me what you want, but I’m so happy where I am at right now in my life. Amen!

Chi

Got Time?

Loving, laughing, dancing, singing, watching a good movie, reading a great book-just a few things I think of that always bring a smile to my face.  What are the things you enjoy doing?  How often are you able to do these things...well actually let me rephrase.  How often do you make time to do the things you enjoy?  Today I found myself really enjoying the use of my time, an hour experience I chose to make time for.  Now mind you before I started I felt like going straight to bed and taking a nap.  But I literally forced myself to keep moving because if I had stopped and sat down for a second any plans would have been sabotaged by sleep.  So there you have it.  That's my blog for today.  It's not long because the topic is so simple yet we all fall victim to wanting to do those things we enjoy doing, but never making the time to do them.  The interesting thing about this is no one has to pull us by the arm and force or bribe us to do these activities because they are things we love doing.  Before the end of this week I challenge you to commit to doing an activity you've put off doing because you "didn't have time."  Make the time!  The one thing I continue to realize each day is that time keeps ticking, there's no pause button that will allow you to get yourself together and when you're ready hit un-pause and say "Alright, let's go!!!"  So make time, take time, find time, because in the scheme of things when you look back you don't want to be left saying "I missed my time."

~Dee

Disciple of Self

The word discipline means to instruct a person on the proper way of doing things. That is why we discipline children when they are displaying negative behaviors. We are instructing them not to behave a certain way. Now how you discipline or convey that message of order to your children depends on the parent. The message does not have to come from a belt or tree branch but how you enlighten and instruct them. So discipline is not a negative action because it is supposed to help you and not physically harm you.

 In Self-discipline you become your own disciple who is now dedicated to doing things that improve your life without succumbing to your emotions. You have to develop what people call “will power” to fight against the moments when everything in your body says taste it, touch it, say it, and do it towards things you know would assist you in backsliding. Simply its gaining control of your human nature that wants to do whatever is necessary to feel good. Human nature is not a bad thing but allowing the nature to be the ruling force in your life is. It is ok to eat chocolate cake, but anything in excess is not ok. Life is meant to be enjoyed, but there are rules in making sure that you are living the best life. Just like when you start a new exercise regime, its going to take the body some time to obey the new order of things. So give yourself time to develop self-discipline, but stick to it. The reward is that you know that you hold the control over your vices and they don’t control you.

Chi

What To Do Now

Sometimes in life I imagine we all have those moments where tiredness and fatigue sets in, we look at the mountain of tasks on our list of to-do's, and the only thing we'd like to do is cry.  Cry because at any moment we feel we'll lose our sense of balance and at times may truly believe there's no way possible to continue on.  In times like these although we may have to release a bucketful of tears, take a long nap, and choose not to do anything for a couple of hours or days even, we must realize that it's not our own strength that's going to get us thru, but our reliance and dependence on God that will propel us forward.  So often the focus is on the now-how we're feeling now and what we have to do now.  While focusing on the now isn't a bad thing, it should be centered on God help me thru this now, Lord I need your help right now.  Trials, no matter which form they may come,  pop up to develop us and strengthen our reliance and dependence on God.  To say it sounds very cliche and to an extent almost naive...I can hear someone saying "Honey I have tons of things that I HAVE to get done and it's all piling up and if I don't do it then it's not gonna get done."  Very true.  But it's how you get it done that's being put to the test.  Will you complain the entire time? Will you stuff your list of to-dos in a corner and pretend they no longer exist?  Will you complete your task with the belief that if you don't finish your entire life will be over?  Or will you complete your to-do list, step by step, without worry or panic, because you know God has given you the strength to do it?  It's how we come thru the nows, that determine how much we're able to conquer and how far we'll go starting tomorrow.

What To Do Now: Proverbs 3:5,6 ~Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not to your own understanding, acknowledge Him in ALL your ways, and He will direct your paths 

~Dee

Thankfulness

There is peace in thankfulness. Sometimes we can get so frustrated with the job we have or the relationships in our lives because they are not going as planned. Because we become discontent we develop a negative outlook on life and soon become ungrateful for the things we are blessed with. See the world is always telling you that you should drive a certain car, have a certain income, and have a certain job and significant other all by a certain age. When you don’t gain these things then you feel like a complete failure. Of course that is all a lie. The truth is that you are right at the point you are supposed to be. It is the divine order of things. Stop and find the goodness in where you are right now. Find the goodness in everything you do. First be grateful for what you have and when you achieve that your environment will change. I am not saying that a million dollars will appear in your bank account because you are super grateful, but your perspective will change and therefore your environment has to change. The world will be more of a peaceful and beautiful place when we begin to be thankful for everything. I walk with an attitude of gratitude and it has made all the difference.

Chi

Virtue: To Wait or Not to Wait

Fingers drumming on a table....unable to sit-pacing backing and forth.....wanting it RIGHT NOW, but realizing you have to WAIT.  We live in a microwave society where we want things to be done for us almost as quickly as it'd take to warm up a microwaveable dinner.  Today via the use of the internet people are being instantly discovered thru you-tube, are able to talk and send pictures and videos to friends and business partners with the push of a button,  able to shop online without ever taking the time to leave their homes...I could go on but I'm sure you get the picture.  Instant fame, instant success, instant shopping, instant seems to be the new "it" factor.  Today, when everyone seems to want it now, what do you do when you find yourself having to wait?  What happens when success doesn't just land in your lap, when no one is rushing to open a door of opportunity for you, and when it seems that no matter how much you do to accomplish the thing you most desire, that gnawing feeling that it will never happen just won't go away.

Do you quit?  Do you become bitter and dis-satisfied with life?  Maybe you decide to give up and try something else?  Or maybe you decide to continue following the path you're on, because you know that it's the right path to take, and just wait?  Wait for it to happen or wait until something better, that you didn't even expect, comes along and leads you to a different destination.  It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that there are millions of people all over the world desiring something better, more purposeful, a dream and desire they would like to have fulfilled one day...one day soon.  For those millions of people still holding on to dreams and aspirations the key to success could simply be waiting for hard work to pay off, being patient and believing that what they're waiting for will happen.  Easier said than done? Yes!  But I've found that those who've waited without giving up on their dreams either accomplished them eventually, or they're able to say they lived a life- one that was full of joy, unexpected moments, of good and bad times, laughter, pain, love, and moments that only existed because they patiently waited and pursued their desire and they have tons of stories to share with you about it all.  What desire do you wish to accomplish?  If it doesn't happen suddenly for you will you give up?  These are questions each one of us must answer for ourselves, and whether we answer them now as we patiently wait and move forward, or years from now after we've moved on because it didn't happen instantly, one day these questions will present themselves before us again, and regardless of the path we've chosen, we will have to answer the question of what ever happened to......

~Dee  

Virtue: A mean clean!

Cleanliness is a virtue

Sometimes when I get in to a bad mood I start cleaning. It’s a very natural instinct. I’ve heard that some people bake or start on new projects, but I reach for a rag and some Windex. While I’m cleaning I reflect on certain decisions in my life and its very therapeutic. It is almost like I’m having a conversation with God during the process.  While I’m ridding dust and dirt from my physical world, my time spent with God during the process cleans the spiritual. A messy house is a reflection of a messy mind. I have met several disorganized or people who operate in total emotional chaos whose living spaces look like a prelude to a garbage bin. They are the folks with melted skittles stuck to their car seats or old plates laying on the living room table when company comes over. I remember dating one guy who invited me to dinner and his living quarters were so messy I had to pass on the entire evening. I kept thinking, " I know he doesn't expect me to eat in here".  He didn't think anything was wrong.... because...uhhh being messy was normal. Isn't it funny that whatever you do for a long time even if it is a negative thing becomes your norm. Its like you are practicing a bad habit every day. Anyway after seeing his place it made a lot of sense why his behavior was so obscure.  He didn’t have any real life goals and he always boasted on how great of an artist he was but he never really practiced to support his egotism. Overall he was a mess! Being cleanly allows you to purge the unhealthy glob that blocks our progress which ultimately contains us in a mediocre realm.  Sometimes I will detox to cleanse my body from all the junk food that slips into my diet. After a cleanse I feel revitalized.  I think whenever you rid something from your life it affects the spirit. So I’m not saying that cleaning your house, car, or tummy will work for you, but it will definitely yield a beautiful fresh environment for you to focus on positive things. And don't we love the positive :)