Disappearing Act

So thirty days or less into your voyage of new found love, you find yourself staring at your phone, no call, no text no email.  You are baffled beyond belief because your new flame has suddenly gone awol and you can’t figure out why.  Everything appeared to be moving smoothly.  Great phone conversation, fun dates, strong chemistry…so what changed?  You find yourself getting worried at first.  Then annoyed.  Then livid because you are beginning to feel like you played yourself again by opening your heart to another jerk who just walked all over it. So what to do?  Back track.  Three critical factors can determine if you are simply over reacting or if you need to move on Expectations, Self examination, Exhibited behavior.  
Let’s begin with expectations.  Typically the rule of thumb is, if you’re not married, anything goes.  Meaning, when you are dating, everyone is fair game and unless communication has transpired to indicate otherwise this is a rule that you must always remember.  The key point in dating is to provide yourself with a plethora of prospects that you can assess to identify a good mate.  This can’t be achieved if you only date one person.  So when dating always remember the purpose of dating, keep an open mind and remember your prospect may also be seeking his treasure in the midst of a sea of gems. 
Self- examination is the next step.  How you conduct yourself in the beginning of the relationship will determine how your prospect perceives you and ultimately treat you.  Did you come off as desperate or insecure?  Did you put on a representative that did not represent your true self?  Did you present yourself as a video vixen or as a Queen?   Did you truly come off as someone who is trying to build a good friendship or did you come off as psycho/stalker girl? 
In the process of it all how did he behave?  Did he exhibit qualities of someone who is respectful? Or did he call you last minute to see you, have no idea where to take you b/c you were the afterthought (aka back up plan) so you two spend the last minute trying to find something to do that doesn’t cost much of anything.  Did he sincerely seem interested in you as a person or did he only seem interested in the things you could do for him?  If he did come off as a first class jerk, did you put up with it?  Often a guy will test you to see how much you value yourself and if you act as if you don’t they will not take you seriously as prospective future material.  Finally through it all did you remember to keep God’s standard as your standard?  Remember, if God is the King and we are his children we are of royal lineage and our conduct should reflect such.  Often we get so caught up in trying to please people we forget about pleasing God and in the process we totally lose ourselves and end up disappointed with the return from our investment.  But when we keep our vertical relationship in harmony with God the reality is it allows us to have a solid horizontal relationship with others that yield a return that is substantial and rewarding.  So instead of sitting by the phone and giving yourself a headache, realize that God has extraordinary things in store for you and if this person is for you it will work out without any compromising techniques and if they are not, God has better waiting so there is absolutely no need to lose any sleep over the situation at hand.  

Sunni Williams is a connoisseur of culture, life adventures and positivity.  She holds a BS in Broadcast Journalism and an MBA in Business Management. She has received national recognition for leadership and is currently working on a novel.