It's ok, I Know I'm Being Used

This year began with projects.  Projects regarding auditions, musicals, events, performing art classes, fitness and hair.  Whoo!  To say the least my schedule is pretty much filled in at least until mid-summer.  I'm grateful.  Some of these projects are a continuation from last year, some are unexpected opportunities, some are personal creations or collaborations.  So why am I starting off my first blog of 2010 talking about projects?  Good question.

Today after talking to a friend, I found myself feeling like a criminal trying to explain to the jury why I was innocent of the charge of "Trying to do everything."  I mean I literally felt myself reverting back to feeling bad about using my talents to do things that I'm not only good at but things that I KNOW I should be doing.  It's fair to say that at the end of the conversation I was found innocent but this conversation stopped me.  For a moment I was being pulled back into people bondage.  My definition of people bondage is not doing what you know to do because you're afraid of what everybody else will think or say.  And that's just it.  I don't care, and for some time now I've had to re-train myself to not care if someone didn't like what I was doing or thought I was doing too much, or thought this, or thought that.  I simply didn't care and moving forward into 2011, I still don't.

Last year some of my quotes were "I really don't care" and "Use me up."  I'd use "I really don't care" in situations where I knew it would be a waste of time to spend one ounce of energy on something I had no control over and I'd use "Use me up" to refer to using all of my talents and gifts to glorify God.

Here's my quote moving forward into 2011: I WILL use ALL of my gifts to glorify God and I really don't care what anyone else (besides God) thinks about it."  If God tells me to back down or if I feel like some things are a burden that's when I'll stop.  I want the top of my head to the soles of my feet to be used to glorify God so whether it's hair, projects, fitness, performing arts, teaching I'm gonna pursue it and do it in excellence.

I realize that there are millions of people buried in those graveyards we drive by everyday who have buried dreams, talent and potential that's buried with them.  I'm not going to be someone who allowed what God gave me to stay inside and not use my talents to in some way make life better for others and myself.

So yes, the songs I've written will be heard, the moves I've choreographed will be danced, if words come they will be written, the hair tips I learn will be shared, the monologues I write will be delivered, the life skills I've learned will be taught, the ideas I envision will be brought forth, and any opportunity I have to go around this world using everything I have to represent God's Glory I'm taking it.  Point Blank.  I seriously desire this for everyone. Just imagine how empowering it would be if we all took what we were given and used it for good-we would create a world where no one was worried about what the other person was doing because they were consumed with fulfilling their own purpose in life.  I have a purpose.  You have a purpose.  We All Do.

2011, Let's Get It.

~DeAndrea