No Sir.

"HOW DARE YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO CALL ME FOR THIS!!!!!!" i wanted to scream through the phone.  Although I was highly shocked and disappointed with the person I was speaking with- because they seem to ONLY call when they want something, I forced myself to remain calm and hold my tongue.

It's amazing how at times people completely overlook your feelings or even overlook being nice and considerate to you because they're so focused on using you to get what they want.  Under those circumstances, do you decide to give them a piece of your mind, do you say no to being used, or do you continue to let it go knowing that your purpose in their life will always be them calling you because they need something?

I believe that at times we all need to rely on someone for something; however, I believe boundaries should be established when you find yourself in a relationship with a user-friend, user-relative, or user-associate.  In my head I keep hearing the song 'Use Me' by Bill Withers.  He has a line that says "I wanna spread the news that if it feels this good getting used, you just keep on using me, until you use me up".  No sir.  Don't use me until you use me up. I love when I'm able to help out, whether it's family, friends, associates, or even strangers.  What I refuse to accept is someone who only calls me when they need something, who only comes by when they need to pick something up, who'll only offer their pen if I have paper, who'll only help me if I help them.  That is a one-sided relationship and in this type of relationship one side is always unhappy.

So what's the resolve?  My resolve is to communicate, wait, and then see what happens.  If you are feeling used by someone who you'd like to have a two-sided relationship with, you let them know how their actions are making you feel.   Give it time and see if they make any changes (keeping in mind that if this is a habit for them, it most likely won't happen overnight).  After some time pass re-evaluate the relationship.  If it seems as though you're in the same "user" type relationship with them you must then decide.  Either cut ties and move on, or you find a way to say these words to them: "You just keep on using me, until you use me up" and actually be able to smile while saying it.  

 ~Dee