Frenemy

Frenemy!!!

I first heard the term Frenemy on a sitcom last year. A frenemy is a person who is an enemy, but is posing as a friend. Famous frenemy relationships are Paris and Nicole or my favorite Jesus and Judas. The person who roles with you, but is plotting your downfall. Let me break down exactly who a frenemy is because you may have several frenemies or worse you are a frenemy. In the black community we call them Haters and according to several online dictionaries, a frenemy is a friend who you feel is secretly competing with you. They can not really be excited for your success because they are coveting your belongings, man, talents, ideas, and everything else. They always find some cute way to cut you down or bash you behind your back. They completely bring you down and you can count on them to bring you down in the future. This description sounds just like the Stepmom blog I wrote earlier this week, but there are differences. See the Evil Stepmom type is a person in  a leadership position who mistreats you. A frenemy is a person who is on your same level, but who wants to be better than you or thinks they are. They make it their objective to negatively criticize you whenever the spirit moves them. When I sat back and combed through the people who have been my so called friends, I discovered that a few of the people who surrounded themselves around me where indeed frenemies. The older you get the fewer the list of true friends becomes, but you are blessed to have one true friend. Real friends can take your success and can support all of your endeavors. Real friends can share information with you and not fear you stealing their sunshine. Real friends will never abandon you no matter what is going on in your life or their life. There is a blessing in knowing who your real friends are, but there is an even greater blessing in knowing frenemies and being able to love them regardless.  Because you know what to expect from a frenemy it is hard to really be upset with them.  They will always act shady and criminal because that is the emotional maturity level that they are on. The best thing you can do is pray for them, love them, and correct them each time they step out of line. Now they are going to do everything in their power to kill that spirit of positivity  in you because ultimately they hate themselves, but you just keep loving them, blessing them, and speaking good things into their life. At the end of the day they will either get hip to the program and change or run away from you. Frenemies hate positivity like gremlins hate water. Stay positive and if they change or stop being your "friend" then you have won regardless. 

~Chi